Here we are.. after many a months the front page is getting updated.. hopefully this will stop the mass of people harrasing SirJon on the street It's Just not fair on him.. he can't control this page as much as you can't control the weather.. unless your [DERKA]Bomber who can chair a cloud for it to rain.

Now, many of you Derka non believers have been whispering in the corner, (yes we can hear you). We hear the whispers of "Derka's are dead" or "Derka's are now weak and easy to be pounced upon".. but please let me assure you, like a rusty steel trap we will go off without any notice and and trap you like a deer leg and infect you so that you need to have your leg amputed.. like we are talking amputation man.. you don't fark around with sh|t like that.

Moral of the story? your a dumb carnt. Who are you? well how should I know? You are you, and I am I, If you were I then I'd be you and i'd still be myself.

So "stay in drugs, don't do milk, and drink school", as our honerary Derka champion would say.

O, and fark clan aK^

Lots of love, yours forever [DERKA]SirGeo

From all the boys at DERKA and the starving people at Somalia, we all like to cyberwave you goodbye and also would like to thank you for taking the time to read our group emails that were sent to =db=.

And because I knew someone was reading my emails on the other side, someone I didn't know, someone that I could only imagine in my mind, I felt a touch of sensation, a feeling of love and I want to thank you.

BUT don't be fooled. Now that you've read our master plans to take over the world and run down Moorondah Highway with our tops off at 2:05am this Sunday morning, you are one of us. You are a DERKA.

Farewell brother Burz. Farewell.

Yours sincerely,
[DERKA]Bomber.

PS: You'll be contacted soon by [DERKA]SirJon about DERKA memberships.

"I was getting all passionate in the cockpit. I had hit 'krazy mode'. " O

"FARK EMALL MAAAAAAAAAAAN IM THE SPAWN OF SATAAAN" (aka GAGA VICKY) O

$500 worth of carbon credits…

Yes that’s right.. You get $500 worth of those hippie tree vouchers to make you feel good about farting in public..
$500 worth of tree planting which lets face is probably only going towards 1 branch of a dying tree with 6 leaves.
It's a farce... I don't understand how people can be doing this? Even liking and promoting it..
Do the $500 worth of carbon credits cover the amount of carbon it took to produce the vouchers? Or to produce and show the ad for it? No it's stupid..
As the old saying goes.. It's like farking for virginity.. Or going to war for peace..
Although I can relate to the 2 above examples, I can't relate to the carbon vouchers...
Farking stupid if you ask me.. Who would want to win that..

"Here kiddies - have some Jesus Juice." [DERKA]YaMum

+plus.staffab.. ...has got more AIDS than Africa.

It's true.. we read it on the internet... . 25/03/2007 HERE

We were all waiting for the attack chopper, Malaka.au got into the pilots seat and I jumped into the gunners seat, meaning plus.staffab missed out. Suprise suprise he was a sniper with the M95 and was taking pot shots at me. I didn't jump out for 1 good minute, waiting for this malaka angouri sto golo.au to fly off, but instead takes off to do a loop the loop right into the water, killing me because he wanted to play with plus.staffabs asshole while they are both in the attack chopper together.

I re-spawn and lucky to jump back into the attack chopper, but this with time plus.staffab and malaka.au missed out. Anyway, as you could figure out for yourself, staffab takes off and flies straight into the water.

So I thought fuck these cunts, if they're gonna ruin my game, I'm gonna ruin theres. I am not one to care who the fuck the guy is who is taunting me. He can be plus.smiley, jeffro, volx, mother fucking teresa, if you're gonna fuck my experience, i'll fuck yours.

I spawned as spec ops, put c4 on their attack chopper and blew them both apart.

I got punished twice, as I thought I would, probably even got screenshots taken of me for a nice little report.

But IF i do get banned, there's gonna be some good laughs and happy times." ([DERKA] style!)

"...god damn shootmepls, is a slag..."

[DERKA]SirJon

...does anyone know where i can buy cheap frag grenades from...i'll grenade spam his actuall house and see how the carnt likes it!!!
...im thinking more russian school massacre with the military...and im gonna need chicks in bikinis too!!!"

19/03/2007 READ FULL POST HERE

It is With Great Sadness that we must report [DERKA]Church is to go into retirement. a very sad day indeed... As a true visionary he came to us during Aus Clans downward spiral. He along with zerokiller recognised DERKA's true potential as a friendly but still competitive clan. He left the mockery known as Aus Clan and joined up, since then he has been an invaluable part of the DERKA team...

Church we will all miss you out on the field, and you will always be welcomed back with open arms.. although i'd stay away from SirJon.. he's taking it pretty hard....
And again to quote [DERKA]zerokiller: "Ahhhhhhh its life. one comes one goes. but church has been a good mate to me.. helped me out when the ausclan went crying like little girls....
i will indeed see u around bro" - read it all here

“aK^” = Ass Knobs? 21/02/2007

“…...I played with a bunch of those preteens the other day, and yea yea yea they were alright…they worked as a team of medics and blah blah blah…yea something real original awe inspiring stuff huh…but anyway…that’s not my complaint with them…what really shits me though, is the level of creativity that went into their name… ”ak” …cammon what the fark is that…2 letters…I suppose they wrestled with that for a couple of days….a bunch of scholars from Harvard that lot…

Honestly, that’s what’s wrong with the game...not the spawn camping or cheating “ak” clan take part in (allegedly of course, lol) …but rather the lack of creativity…there’s no ‘bazzaz’ for christ sake!!! Just a bunch of 9 till 5’ers, who during the day work in the farken paper clip shop…please go do us all a favour and commit suicide…please…

They don’t realise that they’re destroying the game one mundane clan name at a time...please guys im trying to appeal to your half dead and musty conscious…change your clan name...or just spice it up a little…maybe even “akadaka”…or possibly even “ass knobs”, probably more appropriate for you…“

A new medal awarded to the [DERKA] member with the most chairings….

[DERKA]Bomber…..

With his lifelong pursuit to be the worlds best chairer, he has been relentless.. Chairing men, women, children and even gaga Vicky.

1. I felt like it.
2. I was bored.
3. Recking other players experiences.
4. The temperature in my room rose above 21 degrees C.
5. Train was late that day
6. Sometimes my hand has a mind of its own.
7. Because you get bonus points for the amount of times you get kicked off a server.
8. I was dared by myself.
9. I was dared by my hand.
10. Accidental
11. To help the other team win.
12. Because team speak sounds like Triple J's 3 hours of power when I do it to a clan member.
13. Because people expect me to do it. KPI's man KPI's.

Dems Fighting Words... 21/02/2007

(about aK^ again)

“A bunch of poofs fom the now defunct *Dc clan and a few ex members of plus and a few other strays from here and there.

All combined as an attempt to copy the 'stone cold' strength of plus clan in it's heyday. “